Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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