i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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