Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
