This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize