On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Randomize
