no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
