Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
