who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
