Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
