Plan B is the new Plan A
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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