Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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