Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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