piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
