I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
