I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My first STD was from a foam party
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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