Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
