Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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