I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
