M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
