He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
