If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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