I hope mine doesn't look like that
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
