dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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