i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
