Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
