Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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