So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
