it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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