Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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