I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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