i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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