So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
