carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
