She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
