I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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