You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
