so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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