I want to make a zoo with you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
