I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
