im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
