I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
