We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
