He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
