I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Alive.
So much puke
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
