No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
