She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
