She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
