I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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