watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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