Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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