My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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