i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
