Betty ford says i'm here all night
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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