Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i came on her dog
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
