Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
