the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
