saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize