U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
