I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
