The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
