That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
