She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
