He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
