He disabled his match.com account in front of me
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
