i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
