mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
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