you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
