Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
