Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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