Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
