I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I believe in your delicious
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
