We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
