Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
