so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
